Online dating is a spoke-in-the-wheel to help you find them.
The bottom line is if you view online dating as a way to introduce yourself to people you may not meet otherwise, it will always come out as a benefit.
, like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with.” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them.” Um, yeah., we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.
Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?
Most living grown-ups have a history of exes, hang-ups and maybe a nervous breakdown or two. They know that you have a past, but they don’t want to hear about it. Some online dating profiles read like shopping lists.
They’re looking for someone with brown eyes, short hair, between 5’10” and 6′, from north-east Birmingham, and so on. First, they make the writer sound like a control freak.
I have this problem whenever I try to buy a nice cheese. If there were three choices, I’d be like, cool, I found cheese. Practice the idea that you’re just meeting people to know if they qualify for second place, not for life partner status. The solution: Check the options on the service you’re using.
The grocery store has a wall of them, and I really have no idea how to tell if I’m going to like a random one. People don’t write anything interesting, their photos are terrible and they don’t understand how to communicate. The solution: Not much you can do here besides suggesting some helpful tips to them, and they may freak out at you. They can often help you filter, block and report unsolicited/ egregious behavior.
The solution: Until then, keep your expectations in check. Hope to make a new friend who can teach you a thing or two. Matchmakers cost thousands of dollars, even as much as ,000. You’re a catch and you’re looking online, so it’s plausible your counterpart is, too.
And remind yourself that you just have to find one good one. At first it sounds fun to shop around for new folks, but then you get eye-strain and realize everyone sounds the same and you can’t tell if you like them. Everything in moderation — just like the good doctor tells you. There are companies like mine that take the weight off. Everybody gets rejected or neglected at one time or another online.
The solution: Just expect it, practice safety and take it for what it is.
“I asked my friend to describe me, and here’s what he wrote…” is a cop-out.
By writing this in your profile, you’re telling people that you’re not smart or self-aware enough to write it yourself.